I chose to see the woman again because, yes, first impressions tend to shed light on who a person is. But I tend to like going deeper. Perhaps I misinterpreted the first impression. Maybe I analysed the person too critically. So a second impression usually seals the deal, so to speak.
The first impression wasn’t wrong.
The second time I saw her was at a more upscale restaurant- Sanford’s in Astoria, Queens. Googling it ahead of time I knew I couldn’t show up in a t-shirt and jeans. I went shopping for a shirt and, minus the shoes, I was basically wearing what she is used to seeing. I didn’t do this for her benefit- I’m reaching an age where I think its necessary to dress in what I call “big boy clothes.” My mother went hysterical at this.
Knowing that this woman had friend zoned me while also knowing she seemed confused by the concept of it, I didn’t know if it was a date or not. I honestly don’t even know how any man would know if they were on a date with her. She doesn’t like to be touched so how could a man ease into making the first move? Ironically, she let me touch her a few times. But outside of that a man will be left at the end of the date thinking well…shit, I thought it went well. I couldn’t even get a damn hug?
Let me get to why I decided to see her again. She mentioned that Sanford’s had a better duck burger than Umami’s but she had never tried the burger at Umami’s despite my offering her a bite of mine. I have no basis of comparison to what a duck burger tastes like, or duck in general, so since she was familiar with Sanford’s I said “you should take me to the place you mentioned had a good duck burger.” Thus leading to my seeing her.
She actually set this up. She’s leaving New York for 8 days on a business trip and then after being back for about a week, she’s going on vacation. When I said she should take me to that place I didn’t imagine she would want to see me so soon because of the packing dilemmas she described via text. In fact, I had anticipated seeing her upon returning from the business trip. This would have happened with anyone else. Its what I’m used to hence the anticipation. So in the back of my mind, because of this information, a sliver of a chance this would be a date arose. I got my answer when the check came.
Upon returning from the bathroom I said “we never discussed this but am I paying?” With the glass of water at her mouth she looked over the rim. Setting it down she said “you don’t have to.” I remained silent for a moment to which she filled by asking “you want some of my money?” I nodded in response. I brought enough to pay for the two of us but knowing she had friend zoned me, conflicted with how soon she wanted to see me, I didn’t know if this was a date. The first date I paid. She didn’t even know how much the bill was because I snatched and took care of it.
On the first date she mentioned that these “white men in suits” as described in the first post don’t pay the whole tab. She’s never even heard of the term “go dutch.” The look on her face when I brought up the check told me she detested my making her shell out her part of the bill. Why should I have to pay for it? Men in the friend zone don’t pay for meals. Its not a date. But her expression suggested she thought it was. This woman who cannot bring conversational substance to the table, who after taking a bite of her duck burger, said “tell me a story” in a tone that suggested she needed to lean on me to keep the conversation going, that she was expecting me to do all the talking which suggests to me that she’s interested in what’s on my mind- behavior a woman portray’s on a date– through a smile looked as though I had just pissed in her glass of water.
The entire time I asked the questions. I segued the conversations. From my own assessment if two people are interested in one another the conversation segues itself effortlessly. But with us there were too many breaks in between conversations even when I tried keeping it about her hoping she would maybe divulge information I could use to delve deeper into who she is because I still had an attraction to her despite it fleeting from the first date. Nothing.
Needless to say, this was the last time I will be seeing her. I’m not going to keep thinking hey she doesn’t understand what the friend zone is so let me see if I can woo her while wondering if we’re on a date and then get a death glare when inquiring about the bill when she can’t even keep a conversation going past her job and working out. She’s beautiful. She plays an intense game of hard to get. But I’m not interested in knowing if her vagina contains a rainbow road after making her cum because she’s so conflicted with a plethora of etiquette’s that she isn’t worth it.