“I’m Too Busy to Date.” Cut the Bullsh*t

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: “I’m working two jobs while going to school. I just don’t have time to date.”

Listen, if a high-powered CEO can find time to cheat on his wife with a twenty-something year old mistress and then marry her once the ink dries on the divorce papers you have time to date. If a celebrity you idolize (who has done nothing of substantial worth for society) can manage three movies a year while getting married to another celebrity after dating a mere seven months- you have time to date. I’ll dumb it down for you- if you have the nerve to look at your phone to tweet/scroll through endless plates of food on Instagram, you have time to text someone to get to know them to date.

Women say they want a man who is understanding, supportive, and blah blah blah but are not putting the time in. I’m sorry but school is not an excuse. Your nose can’t be buried in your books all day every day. Studying that much will turn your brain into mush rendering your attempts at memorizing notes useless.

You want a man who is supportive but won’t let him help you study- come up with vocabulary flashcards, make up mock quizzes for you to practice on, none of that? But, wait, didn’t you say you wished TV romances were real? Remember in One Tree Hill when Haley James helped Nathan go from being a C- to an A student? She motivated him, she made him wanna be a better man. She started out as his his tutor, yes, but it isn’t like you know everything in the world in what you’re studying that you can’t pick up something new from an outside source. Nathan taught Haley how to be confident in herself, something she had been severely lacking. They made it work because they built what they had. 

High school dating is different than college. WRONG. You only think it’s different because that’s what society tells you. They say once you get to college you have to be serious. Why? It’s just another piece of paper. If you can do some underage drinking as a high school sophomore you can meet for a few beers as a college freshman. If you can accept your high school boyfriend’s “promise ring” then you can kiss that boy in your psych class in front of the English building. This is doubly true if you’re in community college. It’s basically another version of high school. Stop making excuses for reasons that don’t exist.

Back to the Haley James/Nathan thing- you’re telling me the roles can’t be reversed? You’re too proud to accept help from someone who is willing to go out of his way to help you get that illusive A+ despite just meeting you? I’m lost. You women need to stop wanting to be so independent & proud while stopping this expectation that a man will just sit around hoping you’ll finally make time for him while you’re tweeting that you can’t find a good man who will make time for you. Fucking hypocrites. Didn’t he offer to meet you during your lunch break at work- so what if it’s a half hour. You think he’s not happy to just be with you? The little things count. Well that’s one of the many little things, dummy.

I had the pleasure of assisting a woman I met on twitter with an essay she’s writing for her anthropology class. She has a boyfriend so I knew my place. After voicing my opinion about something she tweeted in regards to this essay she mentioned wanting to ask me for advice. She knows I’m a writer so not only did she want my help but specifically singled me out because she knew I would know what I was doing. I was elated with the fact that she even thought of me. Here I am thinking my tweets are being ignored but she noticed me, remembered me, thought of me. Doesn’t matter that she has a boyfriend- as someone who would like to be a friend I’m glad that I was able to prove some kind of worth to another human being. She utilized my skills as a writer to give her pointers. Where has any of this been with the fish I have managed to wheel in?

I want to be the boyfriend who helps you pass your classes, who shares in the excitement at the sight of your A’s because I know how hard you worked but also take pride in the fact that I helped you get there. I’m being a supportive boyfriend not by sitting on the damn sidelines waiting for you to call, but sitting right beside you in battle; the way things should be. I want to learn what you’re learning. They say if a writer falls in love with you, you’ll never die. By letting me help you I will be learning new things which might spark the topic of a novel which means you will most likely be in it.

Immortality through the written word. Even in your death men will be looking for you in the women they meet because they fell in love with the you on my pages. What could be more romantic than that?

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