I’ve always had this fantasy of a woman approaching me either online or in person after being a secret fan of my writing for a while to tell me that something she recently read didn’t have the strength of other noticeable pieces. I would naturally be shocked but not at her honesty- this is what I look for in a partner- but the fact that she can recall old and current work at the drop of a hat. This wouldn’t anger me in the least because what I look for after posting new work is criticism as well as praise. I post work that isn’t to my strengths because A) I’m always trying to find other forms that work for me but more importantly B) if I can’t be proud of what isn’t strong why only show you what is? It’s like life- you show your strengths for as long as possible to a mate until the bad stuff begins trickling out, then eventually meshes evenly and you hope that they will accept both for what they are.
I more often than I’d like to admit wonder who has a crush on me because of my work and if she or they have never come forward because of my non-fiction posts such as this one and the previous post. Like it ruins the image for her on what/who a writer is. I’m not going to apologize for what I’m comfortable talking about. If I can use my life in a fictitious setting what’s wrong with bearing my soul in a non-fictitious one? I got a lot of flack from my YouTube days. If it hadn’t been for them, however, I feel as though my level of candor would not be this high outside of works of fiction.
I’ve grown a lot in my twenties and it is because of my ability to speak openly about numerous topics so fluidly that has been the main reason. Please do not expect me to change such a thing. I may have the ability to make the world fall in love with you forever through one of my characters, but I also have the ability to do the exact opposite (could be why I received a lot of flack for the YouTube videos and now my writing- no regrets).