I’ve recently learned that if I worked up the nerve to approach women in public that it would work out in my favor. Anybody who reads personal posts can determine that that isn’t going to happen any time soon. While I’d like to believe that to be true, actions taken via the internet- a sort of haven for women in their fight against weirdos, creeps, and rapists- have proven otherwise.
You’re probably asking yourself “why is he using communication via the internet as an example to approaching women in public.” The internet relieves you from hearing catcalls while being able to block idiot men in the process. Sure, they can create numerous accounts to further engage in harassing behavior but unless he’s a hacker there’s no way to determine where you live (if you don’t add your location to posts, that is) so it ends, or can end, there.
In public, women fear the possibility of said man or men following and then attacking them. Reports of women rejecting men only to wind up hospitalized are on the rise which means so is there awareness, which in turns means the likelihood that I’ll say something in public even with the signs present is unlikely.
Using the internet I’ve made friends with women I don’t have contact with anymore except for one whom I am very close to. One had been in Chile and then while finally returning to The Bronx, only met up with once. Another only found herself available when she had no boyfriend or when one had been locked up for a month which meant I got to see her. The final one I decided to cut ties with because her attitude changed for the worse while acting as if I no longer existed.
It’s for the best that the three women are gone. I felt secondary to their lives but had to listen to how “important” I was to them during conversations. With the exception of the latter of the three I was able to begin a friendship because I was their “type”. I’ve always theorized that women only make friends with men whom they’re attracted to. Given the number of “attractive” female friends I have is at one coupled with interactions online while collecting data on other men, it’s safe to say the theory has been proven.
What I’ve noticed about myself is I have the ability to allow people to open up easily which has proven successful whilst attempting to get into one’s bed on a date. But I knew those women were attracted to me, albeit to some degree. Women won’t open up to men they don’t find attractive. You have to earn their trust and that can take years.
This is NOT leading into a “friend zone” debate because it doesn’t exist. Women have said countless times they know if they’re attracted to a man. Take a look at the ratio of how many ugly to attractive men a woman knows versus a man. Women have the pick of the litter, so to speak, in every category. It’s curious, though, that despite this the lot of them somehow choose the one’s who hurt them in the end.
If it comes down to you finding me attractive which grants me “permission” to be in your life, save it. Attractiveness is based on opinion anyway. We’ve all been hurt. Don’t use your past to mask yourself from hurt that hasn’t even happened yet. Besides, best way to break cycles is to stop repeating them. Read this again to find out how.