The alarm programmed on my phone sounded, rousing me from a dream I forgot as quickly as I opened my eyes. Squinting from the sliver of sunlight snaking through a break in the curtain I got out of bed with a long stretch, my bare feet soundlessly taking me out of the bedroom into the living room and then finally the kitchen.
A pot of coffee was brewing as I powered up my Macbook Pro, logged in, checked email. Three unanswered messages awaited reply. One was from a fellow blogger wondering how the editing for a collaboration post was coming and couldn’t wait to read its results. The second from mom just checking in. The third from my agent letting me know the advance on my next novel was set to enter my bank account by the end of the week.
Coffee done, I took a fresh steaming mug back to my computer to respond to the blogger, copy and pasting the future post into the body of the email. I exited out and got to work on a new post, the topic a couple weeks old but ripe and ready to be plucked.
“I talk about my dating life a lot with you guys. You know pretty much very guy I’ve been on horrendous first dates with and the ones who I wished went past date one. Well of late there hasn’t been much need to discuss this because, as you all know, I’ve been seeing this guy for about four months.
He virtually came into my life out of nowhere which is exactly how we met- he knocked into me at the DMV. After apologizing it turned out we had a lot in common. He’s not even my type per se. I haven’t dated a guy of average height since high school, back when I couldn’t believe someone even wanted to talk to me.
Remember all those dorky guys in the 80’s we all joked about who everyone said would remain a virgin? I’m guilty of adding to this shitty stereotype but if this were such a time, this guy would definitely fit the mold. But, I think that’s what I like about him. He’s very charismatic, an attentive listener, and a fantastic lover (can’t believe I even used such a term).
Couple weeks ago I was having terrible period cramps and my flow had been really heavy which is weird because normally those happen bi-monthy. I could set my calendar to this, and often have, and see no deviation.
I tweeted about how crampy I had been, my guy pal and I follow one another. An hour after the tweet he knocked on my apartment door. Remaining in the hallway lobby he extended his hand out with a pensive smile while saying “heard you’re not feeling well. Brought you those pads you said you use during heavy times, peanut butter brittle ice cream- cause it’s your favorite when your enemy visits- and an extra heating pad. Would you like me to prepare it for you?”
I stammered in shock. I couldn’t believe he knew and remembered these details. The pads thing kinda threw me off but when I finally was able to conjugate verbs, nouns, and adjectives into a complete sentence he told me something I was not expecting: “that first night you invited me over I looked in your cabinet, saw two types of pads. Research told me what I had already suspected. Least I was right. Sorry if this is weird. I can’t imagine what the pain is like but if this little bit helps ease it, I’m glad I could do it.”
I have been sitting on this for a couple weeks because confliction hit me hard. On the one hand it does sound weird that he would want to know about my cycle, flow, and everything accompanying it before the two of us had become an item. On the other, it tells me he’s known since then that I’m someone he wanted to see for more than a night. Admittedly, I’ve hoped for a guy to put this much effort into dating me. Hell I’d be lucky if one remembers my favorite color. But my lover kept note of such an intimate detail and went out of his way to comfort me when he knew I needed it without pressing to come in and invade my space to make it about him.
Ladies, how would you feel if a guy you were dating suddenly showed up during your period with a sort of survival pack, and what would you do? Has this ever happened to anyone else?
After editing was complete I queued the post. I then went back to the bedroom and while sitting back down in front of the laptop talked to my lover about the content of the post. Occasionally he reads my blog; this would be the first time he was the subject. There was no malice in his tone. He answered every question and raised a few of his own. Open communication is such a beautiful thing. When we hung up I published the post. Within the hour I received several comments from women wishing they had men who took this much interest in their lives as my lover is with me. One called him a sweet creep: “it’s endearing in a creepy kind of way” with another agreeing.
Bottom line, I had a diamond in the rough. I hope women who read the post now greatly consider giving a guy who isn’t their “type” a solid chance. Sure am glad I did.