I don’t know why it bothers me. We’re dating, it’s an inside thing. But not in a “why am I not getting claimed in public. I don’t want it. But I don’t know how to not want it” kind of way.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, we’ll not kiss in front of your home because your neighbors are nosy. But not in a shame kind of nosing nosy. So while it not looks like I’m being claimed simply by the act, by trial by social duty, it’s a we know what we are we don’t need to define it thing.
Because I gave for you when you gave me what I wanted. And gave it to you when you got what you wanted from me.
You don’t want to want to know the title, but you don’t want to leave it undefined. Which is why, by oddity of design, we want it. We want what we think we’ll never need.
And that is why I understand you now. I’m sorry I didn’t before, so we could not make it a big deal.
And then it became something that it’s not. Because of the arguments. Because the need to want to give it an identity looping over not needing the identity.
That’s all it ends up turning into.